Coming Home Means Counseling for Troops

By ESTES THOMPSON
Associated Press Writer

FORT BRAGG, N.C., March 15, 2004 (AP) -- Just five days after returning from a year of duty in Iraq, members of an artillery company sat in pews at a military chapel and got a simple message from an Army chaplain.

"I know you're in an airborne unit and you're supposed to be tough, but it's all right to cry," said Lt. Col. Jerry Gleason, a reservist who counsels soldiers and families. "Some of us have not seen what you have seen."

No one wept on this mid-February night, but about 100 soldiers from the 82nd Airborne Division listened intently as Gleason and two other speakers talked about what to expect from their homecoming.

Chaplains and counselors are conducting scores of these briefings as troops return from Iraq and other theaters of conflict. Such readjustment counseling has long been available, but it took on new urgency even before the large-scale and lengthy deployments in Iraq.

In the summer of 2002, five slayings involving recently deployed Fort Bragg soldiers or their spouses prompted an Army investigation. Investigators concluded that the couples already had problems that spilled into violence after the deployments, but a study team recommended putting mental health workers in combat units as part of an early intervention plan.

"(Counseling) was always required, but we've put more emphasis on it," said Master Sgt. Pam Smith, a spokeswoman for the 82nd.

At this counseling session, Gleason warned against "negative coping," such as speeding, using drugs or alcohol, spending freely, gambling or fighting.

He also said that, after months in the mostly-male environment of a war zone, where domestic life takes a back seat to survival concerns, soldiers need to be ready to listen once again to their wives and girlfriends. The ability to really listen to a female partner whose perspective is different and not focused on the battlefield will help adjust to home life again, Gleason said.

"There are times when her feelings and emotions help you keep things clear," he said.

Spc. John Brown of Hull, Ill., and his wife of 18 months, Kristi Brown, sat near the back of the crowd and held hands. John Brown, 25, had been gone nearly a year - 357 days.

"I had butterflies at first because I didn't know what to expect, but it's just like old times, like he never left," Kristi Brown said.

Counselor Christina Vine, whose Army husband was on his second recent deployment, said the feeling that things are back to normal can change as days pass.

"People think that reunion is just a snapshot at Green Ramp," she cautioned, referring to the troop terminal at the air base where soldiers leave for duty and return home, often to joyous scenes.

Instead, she said, soldiers and their families have ups and downs as they reassemble their lives together after the brief public reunion. Re-establishing relationships with children can be particularly tough.

"Some of these kids have been sleeping with mom the entire time you were gone, but now dad's back and he's in that bed," she told the soldiers. "Make sure you talk to your spouse and find out what your parameters are regarding discipline."

And don't be upset if your young child is afraid of you, she said. "They don't have a personal vendetta against you. They don't know you."

Counselor Henry Berry made his points simply.

To the soon-to-be-married: "When you say `I do," make sure you know what you're saying. ...You're going to go through a struggle."

To parents: "I have yet to meet parents who enjoy spanking a child because they're feeling good."

Gleason, a National Guard member and Baptist minister from Illinois who volunteered to fill a chaplain's void here, cautioned against making major decisions right after returning home and never when tired. He also warned against expecting too much from a reunion.

"When the reality part is high and the expectation part is low, you usually have a good reunion," he said.

Staff Sgt. Steve Hall, 24, of East St. Louis, Ill., had been gone five months before attending the session. He said he planned to spend his leave at home, getting reacquainted with his wife and three children.

Hall grunted in approval during the presentation and said he planned to ease into life with the family and relearn its rhythms.

"You don't want to step on your wife's feet or interfere because she's had things her way," Hall said. "You don't come charging in because it would cause a lot of chaos."